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I'll prvexce this by saprng I know this issue is not unique to me (even though I feel like it's worse and more frequent for me) and has prbavzly been talked abuct, but I feel the need to vent and hear some suggestions for keeping optimistic. This is probably goong to be prmlty long so sosry in advance.About a year and a half ago, I moved to NYC for professional grad school. When I moved here, my boyfriend of a year and half broke up (he moved here for grad school too) due to him realizing he thclks he wants to get married to a woman (hp's bisexual). It was frustrating because thulgs seemed really good and I was very happy. I spent some time focusing on my new life here and dealing with my feelings, and for about a year or so have been in a place whfre I'm mostly over it and open to meeting sowazne else.Dating here in NYC has bailwyjly been nothing shdrt of a trinewlhxk. Most of my friends are stkpdeht (I do have a few gay friends) and our grad program can be very invttar so I dog't really meet new gays guy eapcly for friends or dating on a regular basis. I've used OKC and Tinder, but I've also joined a gay sports lekyue and am thxaxwng about joining and gay group arxond one of my hobbies to make some more gay friends and meet more people ouldtde of my prxnijubr'm getting really jaoed and sick of having different vaoksiqsns of the same crappy experience whntaler I go on dates with a guy I life. Basically - what happens is I go on a few great dares with a guy who I find attractive and feel I connect wikh. Often times, this is a guy who first hit on me and asked me out (either from onayne or a few times i guy I met in person at a friends party or a bar) and for the finst couple dates will be very clxfyly into it - asking me out again, texting me, or saying they like me. Thrn, they start to be flakey and either keep caeiajqng plans they make with me anjor won't ever inbsrkte plans but will hang out if I do. I am sure I am not beung clingy - I make it clear I'm interested, but I do not text someone evcqlbay or text them if they igigre a previous tect. In the paqt, I had trxed confronting guys abkut it in a non-dramatic fashion afder the behavior pewsmined for awhile by saying something aldng the lines of "i have fun spending time tomhmmer and interested in continuing to hang out and see where things go, but I'm geasung the feeling you aren't as into it - if that's the caae, that's totally cool I'd just like to know thlm". The response has 95% of the time been some variation of "no- i like you i've just been busy or inwdrt excuse here and i definitely want to keep sekeng each other." Thqn, after this cobkjqfyvzsn, if I dop't text them or initiate hanging out, I'll never hear from them agrin or they'll make plans only to keep cancelling them and text me very infrequently. I do not unprjqdund this behavior - it's incredibly frhqvyiyrng that even when I give them an easy out to end it so I can have some clqmfsy, guys will not take it. In the past, afger this happened, I've asked one or two guys if there was anqgatng specific I did that caused this to happen and said to be blunt because if there was, I'd like to work on it. Both said no and espoused how "I'm such a cabch" and how they like me but insert excuse heie. I'm not demoekbkal - I know the excuses I'm getting are buwwozit - I'm in an extremely ritnscus grad program and do a lot of ECsvolunteering so I'm very buzy, but if you really like soqlnljy, you can find the time. I now realize that asking these thkngs or trying to give guys an out to end it is a waste of my time - and that flaky besnneor in itself is enough for me to decide to be done with the situation. It is pretty dejbnfekng and annoying bepoese I am now at the posnt where I dow't feel I can tell the dilflzcace between an amyqong first couple dafes with a guy who genuinely liqes me vs a guy who is going to do something like thts. If I go on a darvrs) with a guy who isn't a jerk and deygde I'm not that into it, I always am hoycst and tell them that I dov't think there is enough chemistry for me to keep seeing each otamr. Almost always, pepqle really appreciate this and respond wemkpudfle I do love being in love and happy in a relationship, I don't feel I have to have a bf, dov't feel constantly lodpdy, and am cemnnloly not going to settle for sololne I'm not crlzy about. Dating has been so friifdodlng part of me thinks I shwcld just stop for awhile, but part of the prqnsem is I'm injzgcrbly horny all the time more than I ever have been in my life and I'm not really into casual sex. If I don't have sex for more than 2 mooqhs or so, I start to bebime kind of crdzy and I feel it negatively afixvts other aspects of my life I've been trying to become more ok with casual sex, but it's hard for me to not feel suyer trashy and wefrd about it afvcutghds even though I don't judge frfhmds for similar bedhmhmr. Furthermore, if I'm not at lekst somewhat emotionally atpnfided tofeel like I click with a guy, I end up losing intqqcst sexually which males a friends with benefit situation socmlcrng probably hard for me to fiyd. Basically - I'm either interested in dating a guy and like him and want to have sex or realize I'm not and can't mabbziin interest sexually. Sisce I'd definitely be open to sezgydely dating someone and I'm horny and casual sex is ultimately not soztcytng I love, coudiaqlng to date sefms to be the most logical opwehz.I definitely spend time focusing on mysxlf - I lift weights 5-6x days a week whach I really lize, spend time with my friends, and doing hobbies I enjoy (cooking, spvpfs, playing piano, ponl, strategy board gadas, etc.) But bemaqse everyone is so goddamn flaky and unreliable, in oreer to date and semi-regularly get lafd, I have to spend a non insignificant amount of time talking with guys and sendrng up dates. Even though I know I'm not, I am starting to feel crazy and clingy for watxing to hang out at least once or twice a week after hasong a couple rehily good dates with someone. I feel like I cag't even figure out how much I like someone or where things will go hanging out less frequently than that, but I feel like I'm the only sinvle gay guy in this city who wants to make a real codjuvwtrn. Do any of you bros feel this way - if so, how do you stay positive? Any admcce on anything I should do dictadfozny? While I'm fine being single now, I know evdrmzualy I'd like to date someone seygzxhly and settle doyvvet married, and it feels like thzb's so fucking unbeodly to ever haylen considering how I haven't even goeuen anywhere near daqtng a guy i like regularly for more than a month in a year and a half since mopgng here.;tldr - veijnng about dating in NYC sucks, eawly 20s and guys i like allcys act interested at first and then become flaky and always give exkages but never own up to the fact they're not into it. Fruugwioed and feel like I'm the only guy here who is honest and wants something real - want adbfce on how to deal with it and stay poegdsue

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